Every Scab must bleed a little……..

What is a scab? It is a formation of healing cells accumulating on an open wound. It sometimes gets itchy, reminding you….that something is at work here. You can scratch or pick at it, but if you do this too soon…. or too often, the process of healing needs to be started over, and if you are relentless in agitating it, it could result in leaving a permanent scar.

Over the past few years, I have been on a journey of emotional challenges. Experiencing one emotional challenge after the other, like waves crashing on the shore and then being pulled back into the ocean, seemingly on a constant cycle, to just to crash on the shore, again and again. I sometimes asked myself, What is the purpose of all this chaos, and why me? It has taken me, at least…….the last two years to answer this thought. I would still be crashing on the shore in a negative way…….if not for realizing….we need to experience all aspects of our cycles….until we see all the positive, in each little experience.

The conflicts of our hearts, are constantly being solved simply by quieting the chaos, and going deep inside. While this is not the easiest task to conquer, with patience and the knowing that resolution is to follow,… it can be done. In order for healing to take place, we must remove the dead cells, (negative influences) from our wound, making way for the healthy cells, (positive energy) to clean up the debris. The ultimate cure behind this is to Not hold onto the dead cells, not to revisit, that which has already been healed. Making room for new healthy and beautiful, skin, (positive emotion) to replace the scab. We learn that once we have experienced this healing, we are more prepared for any future wounds.

I can now smile when I ask myself this question, because I know that with every question, good or bad, there is an answer. The truth is … that there are far too many answers, all can be relevant but most certainly, each incident, each query, should be answered from… our own heart and soul. The hardest part of finding the answers, is staying quiet long enough to find the path that leads us deep inside our mind. A place that holds only one opinion, the most important one……yours.

I had been so consumed by and concerned with, the opinion of others, that I started to build up a hard shell over my scab. So worried about how others saw me, I suffered the consequences of my mistakes over and over again. Each time thickening the shell of my wound, working against the healing process, and producing an even itchier and stressful nuisance. Eventually, I would second- guess myself and my thoughts and deeds of good intention became, judged and distorted. I wasn’t aware that what seemed to be actions of pure good intention, from my heart, were actually solo attempts to make things good. Not realizing, that solo was not what was needed in this particular instance, but that there is a difference between being thoughtful and trying to fix everything on my own. This was a very Big and hard lesson to learn.

My personality and my makeup is a bit complicated and yet sometimes it really isn’t. When I give ….. it is from my heart, it is real and free of judgement, or at least I think so. I’ve discovered though, that we wear our judgement like a mask, sometimes we have no idea that we are in the midst of judging or being judged by others. It seems to always be lingering in the shadows, and we continue to be oblivious to it’s presence.

For Instance : When you compliment someone by saying, “Your outfit looks great today”, how did you come up with that, were you judging their appearance and how they looked today? Is that an observation or a judgement? Not that easy to answer but easy enough to question. The truth is that we are all guilty of judgment and it is not always a bad trait, just an unintentional and sometimes misconstrued observation. I now see an Observation, as something that can be done in silence, within ourselves but that once it is verbalized, or acknowledged to another person, it becomes a judgement.

We are all born with judgement, to be used on so many levels, …….is the water too hot,….. should I wear an extra layer, …….should I trust this person? All different levels of judgement. The bad judgement comes when we listen to someone else’s judgement, in addition to our own, and perceive it as a fact. This is where it becomes distorted and misconstrued. Judgement relates to my story in a way that each time we remove judgment from a situation, we are taking away the infection of our wound, we accept the wound as something that will heal, given time and the opportunity for our body to do, what it needs to do. What it has been naturally programmed to do. Once you heal, you can permanently discard the bandage and the remanents from the scab and not allow the negative residue to return and reinfect your being.

In closing: Experience is an ongoing process. My hope for you is that, you allow each experience to heal whatever it is that needs healing in your life. The negative wounds need to be removed and replaced by positive reflection and healing. Practice patience and be diligent in your efforts to find that place deep inside that holds the answers. Remember that your opinion should be pure and positive, coming from your own heart and soul. Keep your judgement on the basis of your positive opinion and optimal outcome will follow. In finding balance in life, we always need to experience the negative to find its positive.

Namaste, Beth

Less is more

To You and to Myself, I apologize for my absence…., I was taking an unexpected period of time to reflect.  I have missed writing as it is my comfort, my Solace .  Writing has opened my heart and soul, letting in the truest of feelings and then rereading the words, has given me answers to the questions, that I hadn’t known existed.  These answers are not always what I expect, but they are truly what I need to hear. I have found that we should not always count on others to bring us clarity, but that we possess everything we need to see the truth and to live a happy life.

Lately, life has been full of positive energy and a sense of peace in moving forward. My concentration has been in nurturing my heart  and keeping an open mind to being more receptive of change, whether it be initiated by me or someone else. People that know me personally, know that I am in a constant environment of change.  It seems to be a personal trait of mine, or at least I feel it is.  Sometimes when I see myself struggling with change, I feel that perhaps I have lost myself or that maybe for a brief period, I am lost. This is a perfect time for reflection and I know when this happens this is the best opportunity to leave myself open to change. The path we take on an everyday basis may not serve us indefinitely, sometimes we need to shift our direction, leading us to unknown grounds. It is okay to not…. know everything, because if we did, what would we have to learn and what would possibility…… look like? Think of a child refusing to try a new food………content in eating the same thing, all the time…….how will they ever know that broccoli actually taste good and if you add cheese to it, maybe even a bit more delicious.

Fear is one of the biggest things keeping us from embracing and enjoying change. Fear for many, is used as a creative excuse, on how to not embrace a new concept,….. like change.  Once fear is taken out of the equation, I find myself eagerly opening up my mind to….. and ….being accepting of, the possibilities in change.  Pushing ourselves past fear is not so easy, but in doing so, worth all the freedom and energy you gain.

Like so many things we are told, the phrases: “The journey begins at home” and “Home is where the heart is.”, are great examples, in that when we seek clarity the key to the answers, indeed, begin at home. Not everyone has a home, or so they think. My thought is that everyone does have a home, some have many. But for now we will use the word HOME, as a KEY.  For every person and story, there is a beginning and an end.  When searching for yourself,……. because sometimes we get lost in this big world,……. the clues are gathered by starting at the beginning and working your way to the present.  Be careful though, don’t get stuck in the past, you are just revisiting in search of your answers, your clarity.  Important questions to ask yourself are ; Where was it that you felt most at home? How did it make you feel and what did home look like? There lies the Key, in what your perception of home really is. This is where we find out who we are, not by what our family wanted us to be, but by how we felt and what we felt we wanted our life to be like. To be realistic you may say, how does a child know what they want? It is not so much that a child knows what they want,  but they,  in their innocence, lack of maturity and conditioning from the world, know what makes them feel good, what makes them feel like smiling, dancing, hugging and loving unconditionally.  As a child you have the freedom to dream and carry on in a way that suits you. An innocent view on life before,……. the chaos of life takes over.  Hold that thought for a few minutes, maybe stop reading for a couple of minutes.   Bring yourself back to that time and envision what made you happy.  Was it the aroma of something being baked in the oven?  Was it the smell of raindrops falling on the pavement on a hot summers day?  Perhaps it was the way you felt when you received a new pair of shoes or jeans for school, or even the feeling you got from being permitted to choose something just for you?  The hug of a grandmother, the smile of approval from an adult or a friend, the touch of a hand wrapped around yours, all of this has something to do with finding your way home, to where the heart is and where you……began.

Good intentions and positive direction, something we all possess, has been the source of energy that has led me to find a more permanent and fitting place to call home.  A place offering, not just a place to land, but quite possibility affording me a lifestyle…. void of unnecessary stress and financial obligation.  I set out on this particular journey to find a home that offers less in some ways, and more, in other ways.  My husband and I have been struggling with so many aspects in our relationship, making us, at times, both unhappy and unsettled. If we were to find a reason for all this, there is simply no way we could place the blame on just one thing. However, we knew for sure that we do love each other and that we do share so many memories,….. have like ways of thinking,…..and that we do work well together. There is still so much positive in our relationship, but sometimes it is necessary to take the time to excavate and uncover the good, separate it from all the chaos of life and its emotional drama.  In a nutshell, we recently had endured a few emotionally challenging years, loved ones inflicted with horrible diseases, loved ones dying, jobs changing, hours being reduced, setting goals for the better and having them bring out the worst, all of this creating uncertainty and negative emotion, making it hard to breath and worst of all, hard to keep an open heart and soul. And so began the next phase of our journey, to find home.

Speaking from the emotionally drained and exhausted self, I made a decision to go it alone, in hopes of finding myself and the joy and laughter, I had so desperately missed.  I didn’t really want to give up on a relationship of 30 years with my spouse.  My thought though, was that being in a relationship meant, that I had to figure things out for….. the two of us.  While I pride myself on helping others, I have learned that pride is not always a good thing, and sometimes others do not wish to be helped.  Oh……. what a lesson that was to learn, but graciously I did and during this unsettling time, I chose to help myself first.  I have also learned that you can’t feed anyone else if your cup is empty or otherwise said, you can’t give what you don’t have.   My focus at that time had to be on healing myself first and initially that involved finding the place I call home.

It is ironic sometimes, when something shows up before it’s time… and then reappears when it is necessary, or at the perfect moment. While on my journey and search for peace love and joy, I happened upon a home nestled in a quiet community, an almost hidden treasure, in South Kingstown, Rhode Island.  If you didn’t know the place existed, you would probably never know how to find it. I had heard of it before, but shied away because it was a community exclusive to people 55 years and older. I must have inadvertently stored it in the back of mind, as I had marveled at how peaceful it looked.  It is located a short walk to a local pond. On the shore of the pond itself, sits a bench overlooking the water. I am excited to sit on that bench…just sit and let the calm and beauty take over my senses. Perhaps meditate for a bit, something else I truly enjoy doing. No need for a power boat but a strong desire for a small row-boat, or even better perhaps a pedal boat to help me venture around that pond. I felt a strong urge to have a peak at any of the property available for sale, and after viewing a couple decided to bring my husband by to see them as well. Certainly the homes were nice, the grounds were meticulous  and it offered a more peaceful and less expensive way to live. We were looking for peace, we were looking for freedom of financial struggles, and we both agreed this home could offer just that.

Crazy as it seems life has turned a complete 360 over the last three years. Starting this journey, with good intentions, we sold our home in Bradford, preparing to purchase and move into the home of a relative, whom we wished to help care for and spend time with. Our motive was to help that person live in their home for as long as possible and at the same time be around family. Long story short, and for reasons beyond our control, this did not work out.

Our relationship had taken a huge hit, one storm of emotional waves after another.  What started out as being a gesture of love, was misinterpreted and met with skepticism.  Too many people and situations became crammed into one good gesture. Finally we were told that our idea, though sounding great in the beginning, was no longer wanted. There is far more to this story but rehashing it will not help, but only hinder  in going forward.  No Good Deed goes unpunished, I now see the truth in that. However, I also believe that you really will never know if something will work,…….. if you don’t try. We suffered at the hands of family, at least that is what I thought, but over the past two years I finally realize, that the suffering came from my own heart. I was wrong, blinded by self-pity, and the all mighty ego. So my ego and feelings were crushed momentarily, so it became time to let that go and start living my life. Opening-up my life to change, and accepting that each part of the journey may not go as planned, but in the end will be worth the challenge.

We then purchased a home overlooking a canal, leading to the ocean. For two years we worked on bringing that home and our injured relationship, back to life. We increased the living space creating more room for entertaining family and friends, we added windows to enhance the beautiful views, and of course in the interim, increased the value of this home considerably. During this time our relationship took on some brutal hits and our emotions took on some heavy burdens. The visitors didn’t come, and with our work schedules and financial responsibilities, we were not able to truly enjoy all that the property had to offer.  The intention of our move was to heal and get past the disappointment of our good intentions, being judged, our motives misconstrued and questioned.  With what we thought we were doing was the right and loving thing to do, our good gesture, instead was rewarded by turmoil and uncertainty, producing a huge emotional wound, that was constantly being reopened. The purpose to buying this home was to move forward and enjoy our life together, but, sadly enough, I found it more difficult to let go of the past and allow the happiness in. It wasn’t all negative of course, there were some pretty awesome times, meeting new people, enjoying walks on the beach etc., however the cloud over my head seemed to overshadow the good. My heart was injured, which left me partially blind to the good things around me.  I realized that this move to the house by the water, would not be the solution to our problems.

I made a decision, based on the hardships that our relationship had endured, to go it alone.  I thought that we needed time to find ourselves and leave the past behind. A tentative decision but open-ended, leaving room for reconciliation.  After all, neither one of us really wanted to throw away 28 years in which we overcame obstacles, far more challenging.  It seemed only fair to give it one more try. And so, we put the house up for sale and endured the craziness of real estate calamities. The first sale fell through after an unintentional detail of sizable proportion was made. I will not place blame here, just the facts. So we went forward, doing our best to stay positive, encouraging each other to stay focused and know that there are better things in store for us. We soon found a more suitable owner for the property, which in turn gave us time to find suitable housing and brought us closer together. All of this re-instilling my belief that everything happens for a reason, and that there is a reason for everything.

It is now November 26th and we are about to close on the purchase of our home, in the community on the pond. This Friday, which will conclude our 4th time moving in two and a half years. I am grateful for so many small details leading to this juncture.  I appreciate that I could revisit the past and make some positive sense out of each situation, as hard as it was, I feel so much better because of it. Writing it down, reading it, editing it, injecting this story with the more positive aspects has been my way of healing. Sharing my story, my thoughts good and bad, I hope will help others who might have the need to step-back, go back, and find yourself.  I am very excited for this coming Friday and happy to say that during all this I have developed a little more in the line of patience and understanding. This whole situation proves that you just may not be able to predict what life has in store for you, but truly need to make sure that you are living your life in truth and clarity.

This is my short version of the past few years, as with all journeys there is so much more than just this. But this my friends, I feel is enough to help us all to take notice in that we may not be living in this moment.  If all you see are clouds then you need to revisit the place you call home.  It is important to not live in the past, not dwell on the misfortune but to accept life’s challenges with optimism and wonder. Be courageous and open to change, and know this, “everything happens for a reason and there is a reason for everything” the, hic-ups along the way are to build character and to strengthen our beliefs and integrity. We are never alone, but sometimes allowed to be in quiet contemplation in order to find a positive solution to every negative situation. Share if you can your worries or fears, with people you trust, to assist you but to not judge you.

Refrain from judgment, of yourself and others, as it is not for us to judge, but to forgive unintentional indiscretions. Judgement is for the truly perfect, and I don’t know one perfect person. I have judged people in the past, I have placed blame and in doing so, have created great lines of separation from the people I love. Let me assure you, I have never done this intentionally but have been misguided by my own ego and the ego of others. These past few years have been enlightening for sure and I have truly benefited by both positive and negative situations. I will tell you this, you must always try to find the positive to all situations, always……no matter how difficult it may seem. If you stay in a negative mindset it will eat you alive, it will change how you perceive even the best of things. There will always be negative forces out that trying to steal the light from our lives, but…..it can only happen if you let it.

To live life…… is to be in constant motion, in one way or another, physically or mentally. Change is a constant, but here’s the thing…..you can’t control change…. but you can choose the way in which you respond to it. I call this life, my journey for a reason. My journey is ever-changing, sometimes I slip backwards, but with the help of faith, gratitude and positive thinking, I re-enter the path going forward. We grow, we stumble, we choose to accept change and this acceptance is like oxygen giving us energy to move forward.

Today and every day, I wish you the ability to see that there is always more in going forward and in accepting change. I wish you love, happiness and a beautiful spirit. Namaste, Beth

The Journey of “Who am I”

As a child I was always told to, “just be yourself”.  Now, can you imagine as a child….. knowing how to do that?  I had no idea who I was, but I was aware that I was a little different and as they say, I marched to the beat of my own drum. I wasn’t afraid to speak my mind or jump ahead.  It wasn’t that I wanted to be better than anyone else, but more like, I didn’t want to be any one else, I was far too busy figuring out, how to be ME.

We struggle sometimes wondering where we fit in, what is our purpose, and most of all, who are we? That is a loaded question and quite often a challenge.  While it is simple to say, I am a woman, a wife, mother, daughter, artist,………you could go on and on, but the true challenge lies in, who you want to be and if you are not there yet, how do you go about becoming this person? It is not so much about what we do, but instead it is about who we are in our truest moments. While I love being a mother, being a mother is only a small portion of who I am, and I wonder really, is being a mother who I am or is it what I do?  It is a tricky question because who I am, in entirety, is almost indescribable.  What I do, can pertain to the given moment or to the content of the question.   Perhaps we are all things, but we adapt to the environment that we are in, at that moment.

Maybe the question should be, am I happy with the way that I am? Do I like myself? How do I feel about the way I handle things, treat others? Do I feel comfortable in my own skin?  How do I care for myself or allow others to treat me? “Just be yourself” may be one of the hardest things to do.  Perhaps this question could lead to the start of a wonderful adventure, the journey of uncovering who you really are. You won’t have to pack much for this trip, perhaps some tissue, a tablet of paper and lots of ink . If your journey takes you away from home only pack your most comfortable clothes and leave the makeup behind. A toothbrush and paste, bar of soap and a towel, could be useful.  That would be enough to get you started anyway.  You will need a quiet place to go, with no distractions or demands. There is no limit to the time you spend there, but the thing is……. you must go.  This journey may take an hour a day, an hour a week, or it could very well take a lifetime.  You will know what your immediate needs are, once you have stepped across the threshold, and have committed yourself to doing whatever it takes to find out who you truly are.

Life…..living life…….. loosing life……..rebuilding life….. life is life.  You are alive but you are not, Life.   Life is what we surround ourselves with. It is a timeline of our existence.  Sometimes it becomes very difficult to accept the challenges that life gives us, especially so, when we are not quite sure of who we really are.  If we could look at challenges as a gift, each one being a little different then the last, we are forced to see the purpose in them. It is important to reflect on how or what we did to get through the past challenges, and on to the lesson learned by them.  Each successful resolution, involves change and creates a constant rebirth, of who we really are.

So it seems to me that, who we are, can change to suit each unique situation.  Which makes sense because life is filled with constant change and we need to pull out the part of us, that is able to handle each situation.  As an example, I am a strong woman but I can’t always be strong. Sometimes I need to let go of the strength, in order to see where the weakness is coming from.  Strong is not strong unless you have some weakness to compare it to. Strength can mean a measurement of force or stability in an object or person, or it can mean a secure trust in a positive belief. Either way, you must have experienced it, in order to know that it does exist.

You can not be defined by your challenges, you should not see yourself as your challenges.  The way in which you accept each struggle, situation and event,…..take it on…… and proceed forward, becomes a part of the history of your life-line. If you are not comfortable with this history, then you need to change the way in which you handle the future. Remember that you are equipped with everything you need to handle every situation, you are ever-changing.  This is your journey, yours and yours alone. Sometimes you need to realize that history, is in the chapters that you have already lived and that the future, is full of endless possibilities.  The journey, of “Who am I”, is an ongoing story, narrated by me, edited by me, lived by me, it is me.

So who am I? I am, and that is me. I am adaptable, and I am everything that I need to be. I am life in progress, ever-changing. I am infinite possibility.

Who are you? Are you everything you would like to be? What is stopping you? I wish for you, happiness and clarity in the answers of your journey.

Namaste,  Beth

Reflection

The storm continues to brew, my thoughts are like turbulent wind, swishing in my mind  My emotional balance being challenged once again.  Yes, it is only a metaphor of what is happening emotionally in my life, right now. Anticipation filled with excitement for a new journey and a bit of somewhat sad sentiment, for the journey that has almost come to its end. Bittersweet, is the best way to describe this emotional juncture.

Am I nervous, am I scared? Excited more than nervous and truly I have no fear, I am ready to see what the future has in store for me. No, I’m not fooling myself, because I know that anything out of the norm has its uncertainty and that if you don’t experience it, you can spend a lifetime wondering about the big “What If’s”.

As with any challenge in life, the moments are filled with both negative and positive emotions.  If we are brave enough to allow ourselves the opportunity, to personally experience the process, to learn from it and to grow as an individual because of it, then it is truly……… energy and effort not wasted. There are no guarantee’s in exploration, but there is always sweet satisfaction in the attempt. Two great sayings come to mind, “It is better to have tried and failed then to never have tried at all”, followed by, “Most people achieve their greatest success….. one step beyond…. what looked like their greatest failure”, and basically, you will never really know unless you make the attempt.

As with any challenge in life this is always a great time for REFLECTION, which brings me to the following post.

Walking by the mirror we sometimes catch a refection of our physical being. In some instances we hesitate and survey the image before us.  You step in and look a little closer, what do you see? My vision doesn’t always match the way I see myself and most likely it is not the way others may perceive me. Why is that? I believe our reflection is just an image of our outside body, it is just a small portion…….of the whole person.

Some people wear their outer body like a mask, not being honest with themselves or others, it is an illusion of what they want others to see. We sometimes even fool ourselves, in accepting that the reflection of what we see today, is good enough. As we age, sometimes it feels easier to just accept whatever is in front of us, after all you get what you deserve. I for one don’t agree with that!  I think more like, in life, you get what you give, what you put into it. We really don’t deserve anything, we receive from what we give. The reward is in the effort, What we are not understanding is that the outside and the inside, have so much to do with each other.  Both are responsible for the health and well-being of the person as a whole. We need to be mindful and conscious of how we care for each part of our being, spiritually,emotionally and physically . I will compare it to the thermostat that controls the temperature in our home. When its hot inside, you would either open the windows and turn down the thermostat, or if its Cold, you close the windows and turn up the heat.  If you can achieve comfort from doing those things to the environment around you, (your home) than you should be able to achieve the same Comfort Level with your own, personal well-being.  Comfort is achieved by using the emotional control switch, to balance the temperature between the inside and outside.

There will always be challenging influences, and we, ourselves, decide which ones will bring us balance and comfort. Both the mind and body are a gift, that we have received and both are necessary in order for us to live a human life, here on earth.  The mind and soul are encapsulated in our physical body.  Though we can not physically see the inner person, it is influenced and reflected by the way we care for and treat our physical body.

Some people are gifted with more of a challenge than others, physically or mentally, and they have to be open and more creative to understanding how this system of inside and outside works. Imagine we are born with everything we need to live a happy and fulfilling life.  It is the influence and criticism we receive in this world, from others and from ourselves, that alter the way we care for our body and mind. Why do we spend so much time and emotion wondering how others see us? Though it is good to pause and look at the image of our reflection, we should focus, on the true balance of mind and body, so that we can live our lives authentically. While we have so many responsibilities in life, the most important one, is to love and nurture ourselves.  In order to see our true reflection we need to be aware and in sync with our emotional, spiritual and physical well-being.

My greatest challenge, in my adult life, has been in finding balance with my mind and body.  A very difficult thing to do sometimes because, I tended to look to others for assistance, meaning friends and family.  Then I realized that these others, much as I loved them and trusted their advice, …had their own balance to find. I needed to Not be dependent on them for helping me to find my balance, and so I started to read more self-help books, listen more to motivational speakers, mind, body and soul doctors.  I would listen to their CD’s  while I drove my hour, to and from work.  Some speakers I found, hit so close to home, like they knew me, and what they said made so much sense.  These tools are used continuously, and I will play them until they are worn.  If need be, I will probably purchase them again. In my times of doubt and when I feel myself getting off-balance,…… I bring them out and listen again.  Sometimes I hear in their words, messages that I hadn’t taken in before.  My guess is that the words are unique to the situation.  I am particular as to the things I listen to, I have to feel that it is true and positive. It has to inspire me, and lift my spirits.  Most of what I hear is what I already, truly know, it resurrects my instinct and common sense.

Like meditation, self-help media may not work for everyone, but can be a wonderful non-judgmental tool to have in your emotional tool box. Once again, you choose which works best for you.

Fortunately for me though, I have a passion for writing.  I find clarity in writing and then rereading my thoughts.  It is also quite fortunate, that I am able to edit what I’ve written, because it doesn’t always come out the way that it was intended.

My mind can sometimes become overwhelmed and it sends mixed signals to my body, causing unbalance. For me this is the perfect time to stop and write things down. In the beginning stages, my writing doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but me.  If I’m not sure about something, I ask myself some important questions like: Is this worth the worry? What will I gain by doing this or that,?, Is what I am doing or saying, healthy and good for my heart and soul? Confusion or Depression can start to creep its way in, but after reading my challenges on paper, I realize that I am a survivor of so-much. I have the ability to answer my own questions, fix my own unbalance.  If you can’t write it verbalize it, talk to yourself, if you do it enough you will get the answers.  Me, I write, I read and I rationalize and try to do it in a quiet place with no distractions.

I have labeled myself a nurturer, a solver of problems, a person who finds great satisfaction in helping and caring for others. It has been a long road and lesson but, what I have finally realized is that you can not truly be this kind of person, unless you are mentally and physically complete! You need to have balance between the inside and out. And no person is going to achieve this level of balance by depending on someone else to give it them. It is very important for us as humans to receive love and comfort from others, while this may temporarily lift our spirits, it does not complete us. We can become complete just by balancing ourselves, in making sure that we love and care for our mind and body. While we try to be helpful and nurture others, we are actually sometimes doing them a disservice, enabling them not to care for themselves. They allow us to think we are solving their problem, all good intentions, but not a true solution.  As friends and family we are here to comfort and support each other, to love, laugh and encourage when necessary.

My thought is that a broken tool can not fix anything, until it is repaired and functioning the way in which is was originally intended, it must be complete. We are the same in that we need to be balanced and complete to thrive in this world.

The next time you observe your reflection in the mirror pay attention, is it complete? Does the outside reflect how you feel on the inside? If not, take note and adjust that control switch, find out what your inside, is trying to tell you and figure out how you will create balance. For me balance comes in writing, walking, painting and being around like-minded people.  There was a time, I will admit, when I blamed others for my unbalance. I would see my unhappiness reflected in others and would assume it was them. It wasn’t until I became aware that I am the only one, responsible for my well-being. Only I could be blatantly honest with myself and accept that anything and everything that happens to me is due to my own reaction and understanding of myself, inside and out. I have had to ask myself on many occasion, what do I need to do, in order to balance myself and therefore create the happy and healthy life I desire? Take advantage of reflection……..whether it be physical or mental, it is a great tool to keep you in balance.

 

  • We are created different, in many ways, for a reason. On the outside, we have characteristics that make us unique, some maybe not so pleasing to ourselves or others, the true treasure is what radiates from within, and in finding and seeing that, you become aware of your soul. Nothing is more beautiful than loving who you are!       Beth

Forgiveness and Freedom

Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.

There are so many theories on Forgiveness.  Some say, only the Lord can forgive, it is not up to us to judge or condemn.  Others say, that  we can not forgive unless, the offender asks to be forgiven. ……My thought is that, forgiveness is a form of Letting Go…… of words or situations, responsible for making us unhappy in some way or another, and by letting go you obtain the ability to take control…….of how you balance the peace in your own life.

Have you ever said or done something, that made another person feel badly?  Of course you have, because you are human and not only are you equipped with compassion but also that thing called an EGO.  Most people will regret doing something of a negative nature, and once they realize the harm they have done, they tend to show remorse or ask for forgiveness.  I truly believe that most people don’t intentionally try to do bad things, but it is just the EGO and sometimes negative emotions that bring us to a level that is insensitive and thoughtless. We react instead of respond.  Accidental indiscretions that can last a lifetime for some.

Is it fair to say that we can carry around a ton of negative emotions and anger toward others, for indiscretions that perhaps they don’t even know that they have harmed us with?

Is it fair to say that this huge weight caused by others……..and translated by us……..can last for so much longer then it ever should?

Is it fair to say that only we, can truly judge ourselves, as being maybe too….. sensitive and insecure in certain ways and this creates a distortion of what has truly taken place?

I believe the answers are, Yes, Yes and Yes!

One thing to remember is that, for the most part, no body gets out of the bed in the morning and plots to do something hurtful to someone else, no one with a rational mind anyway. Before you throw your hands up and think, “That’s it, I’m just not going to deal with that person any more……, just going to leave them alone……., don’t need them in my life…… I only want people in my life who I can trust and that care for me.”  Think about this…….and ask yourself, what is the real problem? Was it how something was said? Was it truly done maliciously? Was the person referring to you? Does the person know that what they did or said bothered you? Where you having a bad moment or where you under stress? These are just a few things that can fill the heavy and cumbersome bag of negative emotions that we carry every day! While you may feel that you do not need to forgive, it is so important for you….to Let Go, of unnecessary and wasted negative feelings.  You definitely don’t need them and the heaviness just multiplies until there is no room left for anything good.

Letting Go can be a very difficult process, it requires a great deal of being honest with yourself.  To me, it is like removing the overgrowth of weeds in an unattended garden, you may hesitate because you are not always sure which are the flowers and which are the weeds. Much like weeds, your negative feelings can choke out the true health and beauty in your own life. Picture this, how much more aesthetic is it to see an individual rose-bush, looking healthy and blooming bright, than it is to see what has resulted from vines and weeds draining the life out of the other flowers. In this way we are not much different then the garden, as we remove and let go of the negative, we radiate with positive beauty. The reward of letting go…. will far exceed your expectations, I promise!

Letting go means that you have come to terms with the fact, that no one is perfect, not even you.  However, you are the only one who is in control and responsible for managing your emotional weight. You are in control of what you carry with you and…..in what you give to others.  Control of your OWN life begins with knowing, that what you say, feel and do, affects you primarily. If you want to be happy, you will be happy.  If you want to be sad and melancholy,  you will be sad. Perhaps the next time you become aware that you are off emotionally, maybe not happy with someone or something, take things into perspective. Don’t be quick to take offense or judge others, remember that everything you think or do is controlled by you. Try not to react but, try instead to respond with clarity.  If you are not sure if something was done intentionally, ask for clarification before you assume otherwise. If something was said or done to harm you negatively and intentionally, it is at your…….. sole discretion, to hang on to it or just let it go.  You are in control of how you handle it.

What does this have to do with forgiveness? Well, my hope is that if you practice taking good care of yourself emotionally, you will never have to forgive anyone.  Never take anything personally, you get to decide how much negative weight you are willing to carry around with you. Don’t let your EGO get in the way of living a happy life. Let go of the negative and you will always be surrounded by positive.

 

*My wish for you today, is the Courage to see the Truth and the Strength to keep it Real.   Namaste,  Beth.

Surrounded by Desensitization and Rhetoric

We are born innocent without sin, without fear and without judgement.  Feel that for a second………….pure being.

Sadly, as we mature the influence of others and our environment begin to distort our perfect world.  We become flawed in the eyes of others and eventually we start to believe it ourselves. The conditioning begins.

Can you imagine having the ability not to give in, to the judgement of others, to not feel the need to fit in, to look, feel and act just like your peers? It is almost impossible, because even our family members are driven by the influence of others, from technology and the media. It begins with waking up and turning on the News, whats the weather, how do I dress, should we panic now because there is an accident on the highway leading to your work?  The Static begins and can, quite frankly, set your pace for a day planned by others. Your home suddenly becomes invaded by Influence and you don’t even see it. Automatically you’re wondering, do you cancel your plans for this evening? You find yourself exhausted before your day even begins.

It seems to me, that as this world becomes more and more technology driven, we become desensitized, we lose our own sense of personal reasoning.  We become unaware of what is truly real. Our reality is distorted, no longer natural, making it more and more difficult to balance what should be the simplest of things. Do we really know how to think or truly process how we feel? While we may think that we do, someone else could have a totally different opinion, of what is taking place in the world……. and in your personal life. With what seems like little effort, one person can change the world’s opinion of you and even worse, sometimes they have you questioning your own intentions.

We need to press the STOP button.  We need to appreciate that each morning we wake up to another day of options.  Options to succeed,  options to make a difference……. we have the ability to make each day matter. We need to drown out the negative influences around us, and to do so we have to listen to our inner voice, the voice of truth. If you close your eyes for a whole minute, shut the environment out for just a minute, no noise, no distraction, don’t think or decide about anything until you open your eyes once again. That purity and innocence that we started out with is still there, its deep inside.  I will call this an abbreviated form of meditation.

Do you remember as a child, perhaps covering your eyes, thinking you were hiding from someone? “They can’t see me” is what you think. Well, meditation is something like that. Because it is inside you……only you can see and feel it. You bring yourself to the truest part of you, the part without influence of others. You are allowed to feel and think only about you. Imagine that! While we can’t strip the world from negative influences we can decide to not be enticed by it.  We can find a way to become true to ourselves and feel good about whatever it is that life will give us today.  The first step I think, is becoming aware that you are being influenced. The second thing is to find a way that works for you to get in touch with your personal peace.

*I began to practice meditation a couple of years ago.  It was awkward at first but what finally made it a little easier for me was a free 21 day on-line meditation series with Dr. Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey.  It allowed me to go at my own pace. I signed up and confirmed on-line that I would be utilizing this free series. You can go on-line whenever convenient for you during the day or night and participate. Oprah opens the session with a few words then turns if over to Deepak, each day has its own theme.  Deepak leads you into meditation, which last about 20 minutes in total.  If you miss a day they give you 5 days to catch up. I appreciated that it was easy to follow and that it was truly at my own pace and discretion. They also give you an option to journal at the end of each day, which was rewarding on its own. While this was helpful for me it may not be your cup-of-tea. It truly is worth a try though and once you’ve given it some time, you decide.  There are many ways to look up other options for meditation on-line, by Google or Amazon to name a couple.

My thought for today is that while we are constantly distracted by the influences of others, always know that the truth is within you.  If you don’t feel something is right, close your eyes for a minute……..release the influences surrounding you and find your true belief. Your thoughts and actions belong to you! Only You! Have a blessed day. Beth

 

Unwrap the Gift

We are led to believe that we need to be and do what is expected from us. Expectations from others tend to dictate the path we follow.

Imagine you are born, with no expectations, no perception of what is to come. Which, by the way, is exactly how we are all born. Our creator is the only one who is privy to this miracle in life. Each time we enter this world, a path is set before us. We are sent here to live it all, sometimes… pressing the replay button over and over again, until we get it right. After all, we are only a human vessel filled with a spiritual energy. Again, no control of this shift or so we think. Our birth and our death is predetermined, however our life-line is subject to change, given the way in which we live it.

We are so conditioned by the influences of our environment, that we forget the true nature of why we are here on this earth. It is not to live the life that others expect of us but it is to Live Life.  Think for a second….about the three-year old child, who is about to open a birthday present.  Does that child instinctively know how to unwrap the paper and the ribbon? Do they know that they must wait to read the card first and thank the person who gifted it? These are such simple things and yet if there were no adult to tell them what to do, the situation would be so much different.  Some of us, not all but a large percentage, are constantly waiting for instruction. Because what should be so natural has become dependent on the environment or the approval of others. Take a few minutes and think about this theory.

Imagine we are born perfect. We did not come into this world with an instruction manual but we arrive just the same. We are born with instinct, as were those who are gifted with our early years of care. Truly something to be said for innocence and pure trust.  Part of what makes up this perfect package in you, is to have the Instinct to do what is right, the innocence to follow your heart and to trust that as long as you believe in all three you will succeed, every time.

  • This is my message for today.  My life is currently on the peak of change.  I call it a “Storm Brewing”.  Which is not to be perceived as a bad thing. While devastation can be created from some storms, peace, beauty and rebirth can also be the result. Each storm is different but it is your perception and your response that creates the direction you take from it.  Someone once said, “you can’t have the rainbow without the storm”.  Trust in your instinct and always lead with your heart. If you’re not sure which path to take don’t rely on others to tell you, just know that you were born equipped with the answers. Take fear and dependency out of the equation and just UNWRAP the GIFT, life is your gift, Live it!

The Beginning

We don’t always stay in the path that we started out on. In fact if you live life fully, you will be farther away from the beginning than you could ever imagine. What is it about the beginning that draws us in, keeps us close? It could be the nurturing and loving connection to those that cared for you. It could be the unanswered questions that gnaw with persistence at the innocent mind you were born with. It could also be a path of spiritual energy that was put in place before you even arrived in this world.