Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.
There are so many theories on Forgiveness. Some say, only the Lord can forgive, it is not up to us to judge or condemn. Others say, that we can not forgive unless, the offender asks to be forgiven. ……My thought is that, forgiveness is a form of Letting Go…… of words or situations, responsible for making us unhappy in some way or another, and by letting go you obtain the ability to take control…….of how you balance the peace in your own life.
Have you ever said or done something, that made another person feel badly? Of course you have, because you are human and not only are you equipped with compassion but also that thing called an EGO. Most people will regret doing something of a negative nature, and once they realize the harm they have done, they tend to show remorse or ask for forgiveness. I truly believe that most people don’t intentionally try to do bad things, but it is just the EGO and sometimes negative emotions that bring us to a level that is insensitive and thoughtless. We react instead of respond. Accidental indiscretions that can last a lifetime for some.
Is it fair to say that we can carry around a ton of negative emotions and anger toward others, for indiscretions that perhaps they don’t even know that they have harmed us with?
Is it fair to say that this huge weight caused by others……..and translated by us……..can last for so much longer then it ever should?
Is it fair to say that only we, can truly judge ourselves, as being maybe too….. sensitive and insecure in certain ways and this creates a distortion of what has truly taken place?
I believe the answers are, Yes, Yes and Yes!
One thing to remember is that, for the most part, no body gets out of the bed in the morning and plots to do something hurtful to someone else, no one with a rational mind anyway. Before you throw your hands up and think, “That’s it, I’m just not going to deal with that person any more……, just going to leave them alone……., don’t need them in my life…… I only want people in my life who I can trust and that care for me.” Think about this…….and ask yourself, what is the real problem? Was it how something was said? Was it truly done maliciously? Was the person referring to you? Does the person know that what they did or said bothered you? Where you having a bad moment or where you under stress? These are just a few things that can fill the heavy and cumbersome bag of negative emotions that we carry every day! While you may feel that you do not need to forgive, it is so important for you….to Let Go, of unnecessary and wasted negative feelings. You definitely don’t need them and the heaviness just multiplies until there is no room left for anything good.
Letting Go can be a very difficult process, it requires a great deal of being honest with yourself. To me, it is like removing the overgrowth of weeds in an unattended garden, you may hesitate because you are not always sure which are the flowers and which are the weeds. Much like weeds, your negative feelings can choke out the true health and beauty in your own life. Picture this, how much more aesthetic is it to see an individual rose-bush, looking healthy and blooming bright, than it is to see what has resulted from vines and weeds draining the life out of the other flowers. In this way we are not much different then the garden, as we remove and let go of the negative, we radiate with positive beauty. The reward of letting go…. will far exceed your expectations, I promise!
Letting go means that you have come to terms with the fact, that no one is perfect, not even you. However, you are the only one who is in control and responsible for managing your emotional weight. You are in control of what you carry with you and…..in what you give to others. Control of your OWN life begins with knowing, that what you say, feel and do, affects you primarily. If you want to be happy, you will be happy. If you want to be sad and melancholy, you will be sad. Perhaps the next time you become aware that you are off emotionally, maybe not happy with someone or something, take things into perspective. Don’t be quick to take offense or judge others, remember that everything you think or do is controlled by you. Try not to react but, try instead to respond with clarity. If you are not sure if something was done intentionally, ask for clarification before you assume otherwise. If something was said or done to harm you negatively and intentionally, it is at your…….. sole discretion, to hang on to it or just let it go. You are in control of how you handle it.
What does this have to do with forgiveness? Well, my hope is that if you practice taking good care of yourself emotionally, you will never have to forgive anyone. Never take anything personally, you get to decide how much negative weight you are willing to carry around with you. Don’t let your EGO get in the way of living a happy life. Let go of the negative and you will always be surrounded by positive.
*My wish for you today, is the Courage to see the Truth and the Strength to keep it Real. Namaste, Beth.