The Journey of “Who am I”

As a child I was always told to, “just be yourself”.  Now, can you imagine as a child….. knowing how to do that?  I had no idea who I was, but I was aware that I was a little different and as they say, I marched to the beat of my own drum. I wasn’t afraid to speak my mind or jump ahead.  It wasn’t that I wanted to be better than anyone else, but more like, I didn’t want to be any one else, I was far too busy figuring out, how to be ME.

We struggle sometimes wondering where we fit in, what is our purpose, and most of all, who are we? That is a loaded question and quite often a challenge.  While it is simple to say, I am a woman, a wife, mother, daughter, artist,………you could go on and on, but the true challenge lies in, who you want to be and if you are not there yet, how do you go about becoming this person? It is not so much about what we do, but instead it is about who we are in our truest moments. While I love being a mother, being a mother is only a small portion of who I am, and I wonder really, is being a mother who I am or is it what I do?  It is a tricky question because who I am, in entirety, is almost indescribable.  What I do, can pertain to the given moment or to the content of the question.   Perhaps we are all things, but we adapt to the environment that we are in, at that moment.

Maybe the question should be, am I happy with the way that I am? Do I like myself? How do I feel about the way I handle things, treat others? Do I feel comfortable in my own skin?  How do I care for myself or allow others to treat me? “Just be yourself” may be one of the hardest things to do.  Perhaps this question could lead to the start of a wonderful adventure, the journey of uncovering who you really are. You won’t have to pack much for this trip, perhaps some tissue, a tablet of paper and lots of ink . If your journey takes you away from home only pack your most comfortable clothes and leave the makeup behind. A toothbrush and paste, bar of soap and a towel, could be useful.  That would be enough to get you started anyway.  You will need a quiet place to go, with no distractions or demands. There is no limit to the time you spend there, but the thing is……. you must go.  This journey may take an hour a day, an hour a week, or it could very well take a lifetime.  You will know what your immediate needs are, once you have stepped across the threshold, and have committed yourself to doing whatever it takes to find out who you truly are.

Life…..living life…….. loosing life……..rebuilding life….. life is life.  You are alive but you are not, Life.   Life is what we surround ourselves with. It is a timeline of our existence.  Sometimes it becomes very difficult to accept the challenges that life gives us, especially so, when we are not quite sure of who we really are.  If we could look at challenges as a gift, each one being a little different then the last, we are forced to see the purpose in them. It is important to reflect on how or what we did to get through the past challenges, and on to the lesson learned by them.  Each successful resolution, involves change and creates a constant rebirth, of who we really are.

So it seems to me that, who we are, can change to suit each unique situation.  Which makes sense because life is filled with constant change and we need to pull out the part of us, that is able to handle each situation.  As an example, I am a strong woman but I can’t always be strong. Sometimes I need to let go of the strength, in order to see where the weakness is coming from.  Strong is not strong unless you have some weakness to compare it to. Strength can mean a measurement of force or stability in an object or person, or it can mean a secure trust in a positive belief. Either way, you must have experienced it, in order to know that it does exist.

You can not be defined by your challenges, you should not see yourself as your challenges.  The way in which you accept each struggle, situation and event,…..take it on…… and proceed forward, becomes a part of the history of your life-line. If you are not comfortable with this history, then you need to change the way in which you handle the future. Remember that you are equipped with everything you need to handle every situation, you are ever-changing.  This is your journey, yours and yours alone. Sometimes you need to realize that history, is in the chapters that you have already lived and that the future, is full of endless possibilities.  The journey, of “Who am I”, is an ongoing story, narrated by me, edited by me, lived by me, it is me.

So who am I? I am, and that is me. I am adaptable, and I am everything that I need to be. I am life in progress, ever-changing. I am infinite possibility.

Who are you? Are you everything you would like to be? What is stopping you? I wish for you, happiness and clarity in the answers of your journey.

Namaste,  Beth