What is a scab? It is a formation of healing cells accumulating on an open wound. It sometimes gets itchy, reminding you….that something is at work here. You can scratch or pick at it, but if you do this too soon…. or too often, the process of healing needs to be started over, and if you are relentless in agitating it, it could result in leaving a permanent scar.
Over the past few years, I have been on a journey of emotional challenges. Experiencing one emotional challenge after the other, like waves crashing on the shore and then being pulled back into the ocean, seemingly on a constant cycle, to just to crash on the shore, again and again. I sometimes asked myself, What is the purpose of all this chaos, and why me? It has taken me, at least…….the last two years to answer this thought. I would still be crashing on the shore in a negative way…….if not for realizing….we need to experience all aspects of our cycles….until we see all the positive, in each little experience.
The conflicts of our hearts, are constantly being solved simply by quieting the chaos, and going deep inside. While this is not the easiest task to conquer, with patience and the knowing that resolution is to follow,… it can be done. In order for healing to take place, we must remove the dead cells, (negative influences) from our wound, making way for the healthy cells, (positive energy) to clean up the debris. The ultimate cure behind this is to Not hold onto the dead cells, not to revisit, that which has already been healed. Making room for new healthy and beautiful, skin, (positive emotion) to replace the scab. We learn that once we have experienced this healing, we are more prepared for any future wounds.
I can now smile when I ask myself this question, because I know that with every question, good or bad, there is an answer. The truth is … that there are far too many answers, all can be relevant but most certainly, each incident, each query, should be answered from… our own heart and soul. The hardest part of finding the answers, is staying quiet long enough to find the path that leads us deep inside our mind. A place that holds only one opinion, the most important one……yours.
I had been so consumed by and concerned with, the opinion of others, that I started to build up a hard shell over my scab. So worried about how others saw me, I suffered the consequences of my mistakes over and over again. Each time thickening the shell of my wound, working against the healing process, and producing an even itchier and stressful nuisance. Eventually, I would second- guess myself and my thoughts and deeds of good intention became, judged and distorted. I wasn’t aware that what seemed to be actions of pure good intention, from my heart, were actually solo attempts to make things good. Not realizing, that solo was not what was needed in this particular instance, but that there is a difference between being thoughtful and trying to fix everything on my own. This was a very Big and hard lesson to learn.
My personality and my makeup is a bit complicated and yet sometimes it really isn’t. When I give ….. it is from my heart, it is real and free of judgement, or at least I think so. I’ve discovered though, that we wear our judgement like a mask, sometimes we have no idea that we are in the midst of judging or being judged by others. It seems to always be lingering in the shadows, and we continue to be oblivious to it’s presence.
For Instance : When you compliment someone by saying, “Your outfit looks great today”, how did you come up with that, were you judging their appearance and how they looked today? Is that an observation or a judgement? Not that easy to answer but easy enough to question. The truth is that we are all guilty of judgment and it is not always a bad trait, just an unintentional and sometimes misconstrued observation. I now see an Observation, as something that can be done in silence, within ourselves but that once it is verbalized, or acknowledged to another person, it becomes a judgement.
We are all born with judgement, to be used on so many levels, …….is the water too hot,….. should I wear an extra layer, …….should I trust this person? All different levels of judgement. The bad judgement comes when we listen to someone else’s judgement, in addition to our own, and perceive it as a fact. This is where it becomes distorted and misconstrued. Judgement relates to my story in a way that each time we remove judgment from a situation, we are taking away the infection of our wound, we accept the wound as something that will heal, given time and the opportunity for our body to do, what it needs to do. What it has been naturally programmed to do. Once you heal, you can permanently discard the bandage and the remanents from the scab and not allow the negative residue to return and reinfect your being.
In closing: Experience is an ongoing process. My hope for you is that, you allow each experience to heal whatever it is that needs healing in your life. The negative wounds need to be removed and replaced by positive reflection and healing. Practice patience and be diligent in your efforts to find that place deep inside that holds the answers. Remember that your opinion should be pure and positive, coming from your own heart and soul. Keep your judgement on the basis of your positive opinion and optimal outcome will follow. In finding balance in life, we always need to experience the negative to find its positive.
Namaste, Beth