Reflection

The storm continues to brew, my thoughts are like turbulent wind, swishing in my mind  My emotional balance being challenged once again.  Yes, it is only a metaphor of what is happening emotionally in my life, right now. Anticipation filled with excitement for a new journey and a bit of somewhat sad sentiment, for the journey that has almost come to its end. Bittersweet, is the best way to describe this emotional juncture.

Am I nervous, am I scared? Excited more than nervous and truly I have no fear, I am ready to see what the future has in store for me. No, I’m not fooling myself, because I know that anything out of the norm has its uncertainty and that if you don’t experience it, you can spend a lifetime wondering about the big “What If’s”.

As with any challenge in life, the moments are filled with both negative and positive emotions.  If we are brave enough to allow ourselves the opportunity, to personally experience the process, to learn from it and to grow as an individual because of it, then it is truly……… energy and effort not wasted. There are no guarantee’s in exploration, but there is always sweet satisfaction in the attempt. Two great sayings come to mind, “It is better to have tried and failed then to never have tried at all”, followed by, “Most people achieve their greatest success….. one step beyond…. what looked like their greatest failure”, and basically, you will never really know unless you make the attempt.

As with any challenge in life this is always a great time for REFLECTION, which brings me to the following post.

Walking by the mirror we sometimes catch a refection of our physical being. In some instances we hesitate and survey the image before us.  You step in and look a little closer, what do you see? My vision doesn’t always match the way I see myself and most likely it is not the way others may perceive me. Why is that? I believe our reflection is just an image of our outside body, it is just a small portion…….of the whole person.

Some people wear their outer body like a mask, not being honest with themselves or others, it is an illusion of what they want others to see. We sometimes even fool ourselves, in accepting that the reflection of what we see today, is good enough. As we age, sometimes it feels easier to just accept whatever is in front of us, after all you get what you deserve. I for one don’t agree with that!  I think more like, in life, you get what you give, what you put into it. We really don’t deserve anything, we receive from what we give. The reward is in the effort, What we are not understanding is that the outside and the inside, have so much to do with each other.  Both are responsible for the health and well-being of the person as a whole. We need to be mindful and conscious of how we care for each part of our being, spiritually,emotionally and physically . I will compare it to the thermostat that controls the temperature in our home. When its hot inside, you would either open the windows and turn down the thermostat, or if its Cold, you close the windows and turn up the heat.  If you can achieve comfort from doing those things to the environment around you, (your home) than you should be able to achieve the same Comfort Level with your own, personal well-being.  Comfort is achieved by using the emotional control switch, to balance the temperature between the inside and outside.

There will always be challenging influences, and we, ourselves, decide which ones will bring us balance and comfort. Both the mind and body are a gift, that we have received and both are necessary in order for us to live a human life, here on earth.  The mind and soul are encapsulated in our physical body.  Though we can not physically see the inner person, it is influenced and reflected by the way we care for and treat our physical body.

Some people are gifted with more of a challenge than others, physically or mentally, and they have to be open and more creative to understanding how this system of inside and outside works. Imagine we are born with everything we need to live a happy and fulfilling life.  It is the influence and criticism we receive in this world, from others and from ourselves, that alter the way we care for our body and mind. Why do we spend so much time and emotion wondering how others see us? Though it is good to pause and look at the image of our reflection, we should focus, on the true balance of mind and body, so that we can live our lives authentically. While we have so many responsibilities in life, the most important one, is to love and nurture ourselves.  In order to see our true reflection we need to be aware and in sync with our emotional, spiritual and physical well-being.

My greatest challenge, in my adult life, has been in finding balance with my mind and body.  A very difficult thing to do sometimes because, I tended to look to others for assistance, meaning friends and family.  Then I realized that these others, much as I loved them and trusted their advice, …had their own balance to find. I needed to Not be dependent on them for helping me to find my balance, and so I started to read more self-help books, listen more to motivational speakers, mind, body and soul doctors.  I would listen to their CD’s  while I drove my hour, to and from work.  Some speakers I found, hit so close to home, like they knew me, and what they said made so much sense.  These tools are used continuously, and I will play them until they are worn.  If need be, I will probably purchase them again. In my times of doubt and when I feel myself getting off-balance,…… I bring them out and listen again.  Sometimes I hear in their words, messages that I hadn’t taken in before.  My guess is that the words are unique to the situation.  I am particular as to the things I listen to, I have to feel that it is true and positive. It has to inspire me, and lift my spirits.  Most of what I hear is what I already, truly know, it resurrects my instinct and common sense.

Like meditation, self-help media may not work for everyone, but can be a wonderful non-judgmental tool to have in your emotional tool box. Once again, you choose which works best for you.

Fortunately for me though, I have a passion for writing.  I find clarity in writing and then rereading my thoughts.  It is also quite fortunate, that I am able to edit what I’ve written, because it doesn’t always come out the way that it was intended.

My mind can sometimes become overwhelmed and it sends mixed signals to my body, causing unbalance. For me this is the perfect time to stop and write things down. In the beginning stages, my writing doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but me.  If I’m not sure about something, I ask myself some important questions like: Is this worth the worry? What will I gain by doing this or that,?, Is what I am doing or saying, healthy and good for my heart and soul? Confusion or Depression can start to creep its way in, but after reading my challenges on paper, I realize that I am a survivor of so-much. I have the ability to answer my own questions, fix my own unbalance.  If you can’t write it verbalize it, talk to yourself, if you do it enough you will get the answers.  Me, I write, I read and I rationalize and try to do it in a quiet place with no distractions.

I have labeled myself a nurturer, a solver of problems, a person who finds great satisfaction in helping and caring for others. It has been a long road and lesson but, what I have finally realized is that you can not truly be this kind of person, unless you are mentally and physically complete! You need to have balance between the inside and out. And no person is going to achieve this level of balance by depending on someone else to give it them. It is very important for us as humans to receive love and comfort from others, while this may temporarily lift our spirits, it does not complete us. We can become complete just by balancing ourselves, in making sure that we love and care for our mind and body. While we try to be helpful and nurture others, we are actually sometimes doing them a disservice, enabling them not to care for themselves. They allow us to think we are solving their problem, all good intentions, but not a true solution.  As friends and family we are here to comfort and support each other, to love, laugh and encourage when necessary.

My thought is that a broken tool can not fix anything, until it is repaired and functioning the way in which is was originally intended, it must be complete. We are the same in that we need to be balanced and complete to thrive in this world.

The next time you observe your reflection in the mirror pay attention, is it complete? Does the outside reflect how you feel on the inside? If not, take note and adjust that control switch, find out what your inside, is trying to tell you and figure out how you will create balance. For me balance comes in writing, walking, painting and being around like-minded people.  There was a time, I will admit, when I blamed others for my unbalance. I would see my unhappiness reflected in others and would assume it was them. It wasn’t until I became aware that I am the only one, responsible for my well-being. Only I could be blatantly honest with myself and accept that anything and everything that happens to me is due to my own reaction and understanding of myself, inside and out. I have had to ask myself on many occasion, what do I need to do, in order to balance myself and therefore create the happy and healthy life I desire? Take advantage of reflection……..whether it be physical or mental, it is a great tool to keep you in balance.

 

  • We are created different, in many ways, for a reason. On the outside, we have characteristics that make us unique, some maybe not so pleasing to ourselves or others, the true treasure is what radiates from within, and in finding and seeing that, you become aware of your soul. Nothing is more beautiful than loving who you are!       Beth